Guest Blog with Cathy Wienke

THE MOTHER-DAUGHTER DANCE

Sharing truths, laughter, and some trepidation, we created three generations of Polish women for our Illinois series. Ruby, the matriarch, her secretive daughter Jeannie, and granddaughter Angel, each struggle with their own finger pointing of self-condemnation. We explore their joys, love and frustrations with one another.

The mother-daughter relationship is a love affair of conflicting tides. I see my own weaknesses and fears in my daughter's voice, and soar with pride at her successes as the steps she takes far surpass my hopes and imagination. And to think—I'll be frank here—I was afraid of ever having a daughter. I grew up with a stepmother after the death of my mom a few days after my birth in a hostile, violent and fearful world... Cinderella had nothing on us.... I came to believe all mother-daughter relationships were like this, so I studied my friends and their moms together as if I would have to pass a final exam one day. After marrying my husband, I came to the conclusion I would just have boys. I had it all figured out. I would have boys and they would look to their father as a life example. It was going quite well, we had one son, and after having our second boy, I came to know the Kings of Kings and Lord of Lords. Life was good, and when we were expecting our third child we were told by the doctor it was likely a boy. That would have been the end of the story but God had a new plan for our baby boy was born a 6 pound baby girl! I was left ...stricken! Panic rose up in my throat and I actually experienced symptoms of shock for a couple of days. I'm so glad God gives us what we fear when it is His very best.
Twenty some years later, my daughter Faith is pure joy and we do the dance—she raises her voice in frustration, I lift up a prayer. She cries, I comfort, feeling pain so deep within I barely have air left to breath. It’s a dance like no other, steps no one else could teach you, steps you learn as your feet hit the floor when you hear her first infant cry. I've got to go...my phones ringing, my daughter is calling....I hear music.

Do you enjoy reading multi-generational stories like Cathy and Becky have written?

(Cathy and her daughter Faith.)