Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Surprise Guest Blog by LaTisha Barnhart!

S. Dionne (whose picture is the one on the left) couldn’t make this appointment, so I’ll be speaking on her behalf. She suggested I talk about marriage. In particular, the ingredients needed to make a marriage work. And this is a subject that I, LaTisha Barnhart, know well. You see, Hardy and me have been married a long time.



We’ve raised seven babies, done diapers, colic, measles, chicken pox, puberty, the birds and the bees, enough Math, English and History to fill our own text book, Teacher’s Edition, and then we moved right into the college years. And that’s where that sentence ends because it’s where Hardy and I almost ended. Sunk beneath the debt of tuition. I know you’re feeling me on that. Good thing there were scholarships and such to help.

We’ve seen a lot, Hardy and me, and we’re definitely two distinct personalities that have to work hard at our differences. Hardy is shy, quiet, though he’s full of sass when he needs to be, and that’s usually when I need him to be. I’m the opposite of him in many ways, but we’ve learned to respect each other. Hear that? R-e-s-p-e-c-t. That’s point number one.

There aren’t two people anywhere who are gonna say “I do,” and not have to make some changes in their life and lifestyle. Marriage is sacrifice, and you’d better remember that before you ever hit that altar.

Monetary sacrifice

Time sacrifice

Work sacrifice

Love sacrifice

Another thing, me and Hardy are going on our 39th year of marriage. Why? Because deep down, all tough talk aside, I love who he is. He makes me a better person. And I do the same for him. Opposites attract for a reason, and I believe whole heartedly that those reasons are to form us into something better.

It’s often said how dull the world would be if we were all alike. Isn’t that the Gospel truth? God made us different for a reason. But God didn’t make us different so we could divorce and list irreconcilable differences as the excuse. No, sir. Now if you’re unequally yoked to begin with, that is a huge problem. So let this be a warning to you. Get yourself a man who loves God first and you second. Otherwise it’s never going to work.

And while we’re here on this subject, let’s trip down the path of change. Changing him, or changing her. Some young minds think that’s all there is to it. Make their partner change to be a carbon copy of themselves and everything will work out fine. You’re missing the point entirely. Marriage is not about marrying yourself, it’s about the blending of two personalities. His strength is probably your weakness, and his weakness is more than likely your strength. Don’t fight that. Embrace it! Remember it, too, for there are those times when we forget our weaknesses and want to parade around in the finery of our strengths. . .often at the expense of the love and respect we should have for our husband or wife.

Now I could go on and on, but I’ve got mouths to feed, what with old Mr. Potter so sick with flu, and I need some time to put together some chicken soup . To sum it all this marriage stuff up, just be remembering this, whatever you do for the other, do it with love. If you’re primed to take on a project and full of anger or resentment or disgust, it’s doomed to make you miserable, and you’ll probably drag the rest of your household into that misery. Love is selfless, and if you’re full of yourself, don’t plan on getting married.

Question of the day: If you're married, what anniversary are you on, and if you're not yet married, who in your family has been married the longest? Any Silver Anniversaries out there? Golden? Beyond?


  1. My husban and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary in June!

  2. 26 years and counting!

  3. I'm not married yet, but my grandparents have been married for 60 years!! My Papaw is 90 and my Grandma is 76.

  4. raspberrygirl, that's a long time!!! and wow, your grandfather was 30 and your grandma 16 when they wed?

    We celebrated 20 years of marriage this year. :)